Monday I had a test drive with Red Driving School in Cheltenham. It didn't occur to me that in the last five years I have driven (almost) exclusively a large people carrier with an automatic gearbox. Driving instructor's cars are, inevitably, small with a manual gearbox. So having given the thoroughly decent instructor chap a nervous breakdown when I told him, we set off in to the mean streets of dowtown Cheltenham. A very strange experience; some thirteen years ago I passed my driving test, possibly the best feeling being that I would never have to do it again yet here I am voluntarily doing it. However, after driving round the block a couple of times, a parallel park and reverse into a bay it obviously went well. I don't know if the instructor was more relieved or impressed with my driving, the beautiful smooth gear changes and impeccable positioning or the fact that his car was still intact, but he offered me a place in the driving school in exchange for me handing over my hard earned cash. Which I nearly did, I signed up so they can take the fee. In exchange I now have a bundle of driving related books, a handful of DVDs and CDs and access to an on-line learning resource. My relaxed life as doley now has some purpose and I will be spending all my free time studying. Give it a few months and I could be teaching the next generation of boy racers, sorry, responsible young people craving their freedom.
In the meantime, I am still entitled to sign on so long as I don't work more than sixteen hours, however, in pursuit of the mighty dollar I am looking for some part time temporary work for over Christmas. To these ends I have completed an on-line assessment including a personality profiling questionnaire for Royal Mail. Despite this I have been selected for interview. I may, temporarily at least, be forced to change my name to Pat.
Tuesday was sign on day. A bit of a let down, security didn't seem to be too busy and there wasn't a drunk in sight, in fact, there was barely anyone in sight other than the staff, but then I was there at 9am before your average unemployed is up. I gave up my paperwork to the "greeter" and was instructed to have a look on the job search machines whilst I waited. I didn't wait long before an apparently genuinly cheerful advisor called me through. I discussed, in principle at least, the whole driving thing and part time job idea. This was a good move, I'm firmly in the Job Centre comfort zone now. Technical management positions with real salaries? Sorry can't do those sir. Part time job on or near minimum wage? Way hay we know all about those. Have you tried Argos, Toys R Us, Tesco Sainsbury...... I think he ran out of breath before shops that were likely to be recruiting for Christmas.
"Yes," I replied - "I thought Royal Mail as well." There was no stopping him now, he had his breath back "Good idea. Curry's, Debenhams, British Home Stores, ooh don't forget The Quays, they'll all be recruiting."
I thanked him for his time, promised to return in a fortnight and made my exit. He may still be there rattling off more and more shops now.
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