Those who know me will be aware that I am now redundant. Recent events combined with a certain amount of time on my hands have convinced me to blog my observations. I do not intend to mull over my redundancy process, that's history and not necessary to repeat. However, I have decided that after working for 20 some odd years, the time has come to bite the bullet and sign on. Some of you may be fortunate to have ever had to go into the dole office - sorry Jobcentre Plus; I have yet to find out what the plus is for, or to that matter what the Jobcentre part refers to. For those who have never tried it, go here and watch from about 1:08 for 10 seconds or so. If you are old enough, you may even remember Boys From The Blackstuff.
So to my experience. Twice now I have visited aforementioned office and twice I have witnessed the marvels of their security; allow me to illustrate:
Visit one, I am behind a woman with two teenage (ish) kids in tow:
Woman: But I haven't got any fookin' money
Jobcentre Guy: Sorry madam, you need to fill in the form and make an appointment
Woman: My kids haven't got any fookin' uniform and they go back tomorrow [you have had six weeks]
Jobcentre Guy: We are unable to give money out without your full co-operation and the correct procedure, you can make an appointment for later today.
I need not go on, in a blaze of fookin', fascist accusations and ripped up forms the woman was bundled out, kids following obediently behind.
I collect requisite forms and leave, meekly.
Visit two, appointment made, two days later, 10am, I return and am behind a Scottish gent surrounded already by more G4S employees than I knew existed.
Security: We are unable to see you in that state sir
Bloke: I have nae bin drinkin'
Security: It appears to us you have sir.
Bloke: Aye well mebbe a wee sip but that's all.
You can imagine this conversation isn't going far, cue bloke gets bundled out. Incidentally, when I left an hour or so later, he is in a heap outside still.
So to my interview. To their credit, Jobcentre Plus staff are, despite all they must put up with, nothing but courteous and friendly. It seems I have two interviews. One to go through my details, this is easy, just paperwork and stuff. The second is my Jobseeker's Agreement. In order to claim Jobseeker's Allowance, I have to prove I am looking for work. To these ends I have half a dozen pieces of paper stapled together on which I write down what I am doing to find a job, there is no further evidence asked of me, trusting or what? I have promised to do three things each WEEK to try and find a job. Without breaking my agreement, that could be:
Monday - Log onto Glosjobs.co.uk or similar and decide there is nothing
Tuesday - Have a shufty at the computer thingies in Jobcentre plus, after all I might as well, I have to go to sign on.
Wednesday - Quick butchers at the job section in the Citizen.
That's it, another busy week, best take the next four days off.
I will need a new booklet thingy next time sign on....
Finally, I though that I would use my dead time to become a useful member of society, after all it's about time so I thought some charity work might be in order; but no, whoah there. If I work, even unpaid for more than sixteen hours a week I'm entiltled to nothing, nill, nada, zilch. The reason - it means I am not available for work, still makes sense, after all most of the week they have got me on my toes looking for work.
Just remind me why there are so many long term employed?
I have been considering my next career move, but that's another post.
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