Ho! Ho! Ho!

Just in case you have been off on a mission to Mars or in a coma for the last couple of months, you can't help but notice that we are now firmly in advent.  Christmas is just around the corner, turkeys and other tasty animals are being fattened ready for the oven.  Let's get one thing straight before we start; I love Christmas.  It doesn't make me grumpy and I don't go all Ebeneezer Scrooge.  It might be because of the kids and all the excitement that goes with them, it might be the gifts or it might just be the food and drink.  We have put the decorations up and Victoria has turned our hall and stairs into Santa's grotto, and before you ask, yes the big fella is real, of that there can be no doubt.  It is fair to say, there is a certain amount of competition in our house as to who is the biggest kid - me or the kids; I think I generally win.  This year we also have the added bonus that we aren't cooking Christmas dinner (although Tina might feel at a bit of a loose end), we have generously been invited to my brother and sister in law's to celebrate with them, kids and all.  Look up "gluttons for punishment" in the dictionary and it will likely read "Darrel and Sharon, Christmas 2009".  Or rather it will when I write the dictionary for all those words I use that other people accuse me of having made up.


So what is my quandary?  It's an odd thing really.  Despite my absolute passion for Christmas, come Boxing day, or thereabouts, I'm itching to get all the decorations put away.  It's a strange thing.  The tree looks pretty, all the decorations are jolly and festive and I will drag the Christmas celebrations out as long as possible - even enjoying Christmas specials reruns on the BBC.  I enjoy putting the decorations up but a couple or three weeks later I've had enough of them.

So here's to Christmas, however you celebrate.  Whether you see it as the Christian(ish) festival or if you're stuck firmly in Briton's druid past and prefer Yule or if you have no religion nor belief, just have a couple of days off, after all, who really needs a reason or excuse to celebrate?

I know that people who know me may well be a little surprised by this blog post, you expect a full on grumpy Christmas, or maybe you suspect I have employed a ghost writer but no, I promise you, this is all me.

The end of an era

Have you missed me? It's been a while since I last blogged but that's because I have been busy. Busy doing what? you ask. Go on feel free to ask. Actually, it makes no difference whatsoever whether you ask or not because I'm going to tell you unless I have lost you already.

Last week I made the long last walk to the dole office. I broke my normal routine by checking in with the greeter just a few minutes before my appointment and not going and looking at the rather useless computer things that advertise the non-jobs. This did, however, give me the new opportunity of watching other people using them. In particular a girl with her boyfriend, I presume, who printed off just about every job on the system. In 5 minutes they must have come away with 20 job details each. There are a

couple of possibilities here by my reckoning. Either they were very keen to get a job or they were trying to show their Job centre chap that they were looking for a job and binning the details on the way out or they were just in competition, who could print out the most details in a set time. Whichever way, an odd couple.

So to my interview:

"Good afternoon Mr Kirby"

"Hello"

"How's the job hunting?"

"I've stopped. Not looking now"

"Pardon?"

"I've stopped. Not looking now"

"Can I ask why? You know you must be looking for work to claim job seekers"

"Yes"

........

"I have a job now"

So what happens? Someone rushes on with flowers? Fireworks? Spontaneous, rapturous applause? At least a hug from the job centre staff, after all we have become friends over the last couple of months haven't we?

"You'll have to fill in this section to sign off then"

That's it. I have given many hours of my life to the job centre now I'm fobbed off with a wee form to sign off. No tears, nothing. I filled in the necessary paperwork and left, deflated, disappointed.

The rest of the week is half term. Tina is off work so we have half a week of family time. A rare treat including a trip to Weston. Strange, we went to Weston right at the end of October and experienced better weather than when we went in the summer; and we saw the start of the work on the new pier.

Saturday was Hallowe'en. Now, historically I have been a proper grumpy about Hallowe'en but this year in an attempt to be happy jolly dad and shake off, at least temporarily, the Grumpy Old Man image, we take a trip to Over farm and get pumpkins which are duly carved into jack o' lanterns that looked a bit like these on the left. We don't like waste so decided to make pumpkin pie from the flesh taken out of the pumpkin. Want my advice? Do you? If not look away now because I'm going to give it. If you ever carve pumpkins, please, for the love of god throw away the flesh. Pumpkin pie has to join the very short list of food I really can't stand. It is truly grim.

The kids dressed up to go trick or treating with some very strict rules and, I must confess, I was impressed by the haul they came back with. I did assume that most people were as grumpy as I typically am about Hallowe'en. Maybe I misjudged people or just tarred them with my own brush.

Monday was new job day one. It is a complete change for me. A rare foray into working for a small, non techy company. Very relaxed, very chilled but everyone gets the job done.

And finally to the highlight of the last week. Can we have a drum roll please? After several weeks of study the time came to sit my driving theory test, the first part to qualify to becoming a driving instructor. And, can you be discrete? I was probably more nervous than I can remember having been for an awfully long time. The morning spent on the toilet. So what happens? 96% in the theory and 63/75 in the hazard perception. I blitzed it. I rock. I am great. Here's to the practical training and the next two tests.